Why Are Straight Men So Bad at Oral Sex?
Expand Photographed by Mark Peckmezian | Styled by Jessica dos Remedios I once dated a guy who refused to go down on me. “I just don’t like the way it tastes,” was his excuse. As if his dick tasted...
View ArticleThe Relationship Power Struggle: Is It Always Better to Have the Upper Hand?
Expand Photographed by Mark Peckmezian | Styled by Jessica dos Remedios For the first year my girlfriend and I were together, we kept our relationship open. This was largely my decision, and one might...
View ArticleBreathless: That Time I Went to a Sex Party
Expand Photographed by Mark Peckmezian | Styled by Jessica dos Remedios Last weekend, in the penthouse of an upscale, downtown hotel, I attended my first sex party. I went with a friend of mine—I’ll...
View ArticleBreathless: The Biggest Taboo in Relationships Isn’t Sex—It’s Money
When I first moved to New York, four years ago, I was a poor 24-year-old struggling to support myself as a writer. I worked part-time as a waitress at a Chinese restaurant and lived in a particularly...
View ArticleBreathless: The Pitfalls of Dating the Freakishly Attractive
The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do. “It’s weird,” he said contemplatively, staring into a sea of models....
View ArticleBreathless: I Was Dumped Two Months Ago, and I’m Still Heartbroken
Expand It’s been two months since my ex-girlfriend and I broke up—or since she broke up with me, I should say—and I’m miserable. We all understand that breakups are meant to be difficult and painful....
View ArticleBreathless: Sex Toys Are the New Couples Therapy
I didn’t own a vibrator until I was twenty-five. Until then, I always had the same thought: Why waste money on a masturbation machine when my hand and showerhead are both free and perfectly capable?...
View ArticleBreathless: Dating Is Impossible when You’re Still in Love with Your Ex
There are many stages of heartbreak. Three months deep into my break-up, I have experienced almost all of them. First there’s shell shock, followed by denial, and then some combination of paralysis,...
View ArticleBreathless: Are You Stealing Your Partner’s Personality?
In middle school, I used to jokingly refer to my best friend’s older sister as The Shapeshifter. She seemed to have zero autonomous personality, but rather adopted, drastically and transparently, the...
View ArticleBreathless: Are You Dating Your Doppelgänger?
The first time I heard the term twinning, I was in my early twenties. My new best friend at the time, whom I’ll call Ben, was a tall, deathly thin nerd with oversize glasses, shoulder-length bleached...
View ArticleBreathless: Can Couples Therapy Make Me Less of an Emotional Cavewoman?
In previous columns, I have written, in lengthy and pathetic detail, about the traumatic breakup I went through at the end of July. In addition to publishing multiple essays about the perils of...
View ArticleBreathless: 10 Things I Learned About Sex and Love in 2014
1. Kissing is the best predictor of sexual prowess. Kissing is important—it’s the gateway drug to sex—which is why I’m always amazed that some adults can be so bad at it. Like, how have you survived...
View ArticleBreathless: Does Sex Get Better With Age?
I lost my virginity at 16, but I didn’t come during sex until I was 22. That’s normal, right? No? I recently confessed this to a friend, and she responded by putting her hand on my knee and gasping,...
View ArticleBreathless: Is Anal Sex No Longer Taboo?
Butt sex is officially on trend. To kick off the fourth season of Girls tonight, Marnie gets bent over a sink and has her butt eaten out—and really likes it. It is strongly implied that anal sex is...
View ArticleThe Breathless Guide to Valentine’s Day Lingerie: One Night, 11 Looks
Karley Sciortino writes “Breathless,” for Vogue.com, a column about sex and relationships. I’ve always found the pseudo-empowerment idea that women should wear sexy underwear “for themselves” really...
View ArticleBreathless: Has Fifty Shades of Grey Made S&M Too Mainstream?
This Valentine’s Day, lovers the world over will open heart-shaped boxes to find, instead of chocolate, a blindfold and matching whip. “I love you, baby,” the card will read. “Here’s a leather...
View ArticleWhy You Should See Drunktown’s Finest This Weekend
“When most people think about Native American culture, they think of The Last of the Mohicans,” says writer and director Sydney Freeland. “We typically see stereotypes like the wise elder, the angry...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Frank and Claire Underwood of House of Cards Are My New Love...
What does the perfect couple look like? It’s hard to say anymore. The cultural landscape is changing—the move toward gender and marriage equality is becoming a reality—and our vision of an...
View ArticleBreathless: How to Have a Threesome
Choosing the right threesome partner is a delicate and complex operation. If you mess it up, you could ruin your relationship and life forever. Just kidding. But there is an art, and etiquette, to...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Are Breast Implants More Popular Than Ever?
Breast implants are bigger than ever. They remain the number one cosmetic surgery in the United States—more popular than nose jobs and liposuction. Even my favorite small-chested bombshells are going...
View ArticleBreathless: Dos and Don’ts for the Music Festival Hookup
Festival season has begun, which is exciting for anyone who likes having sex in uncomfortable places with unshowered high people. Festival hookups are at best hot and spontaneous, and at worst sloppy,...
View ArticleBreathless: Should You Be Friends with Your Ex?
Unfortunately, our exes don’t disappear from the earth after a breakup. They keep existing, seemingly for the sole purpose of appearing when you’re horribly hungover, buying Advil and coconut water in...
View ArticleBreathless: Mastering the Art of Sexting
Sexting is an important life skill. If the ability to pen a beautiful love letter got our grandparents the girl, today, having a baller sexting game can be the difference between a Tinder match that...
View ArticleBreathless: Has Anyone Else Noticed That Viagra Is Everywhere?
Last summer, I was casually dating a 32-year-old magazine editor. (I’ll call him Steve.) He was healthy, in shape, and his dick worked fine. For the most part. When we were alone, there were never any...
View ArticleBreathless: Proper Condom Etiquette Is Sexy
The stupidest thing a guy ever said to me in bed was this: “I don’t need to use condoms, because I only sleep with girls from wealthy families.” Right. As will come as no shock to anyone, guys will...
View ArticleBreathless: Is Christian Grey a Bro?
Last Thursday marked the release of Grey, the latest in the Fifty Shades series. Grey is literally the exact same story as Fifty Shades of Grey, except this time it’s told from Christian’s...
View ArticleBreathless: Bachelorette Parties Are the New Bachelor Parties
Last month, I flew from New York to L.A. to attend the bachelorette party of a close childhood friend. I’m at that age when suddenly everyone I know is getting married at once—seemingly with zero...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Amy Schumer Is an Amazing Feminist
“How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?” a guy friend of mine recently asked me. Me: “I don’t know. How many?” Him: “That’s not funny!” While I did laugh at the joke, I probably...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Can’t Straight Men Talk About Sex?
At a recent dinner party, a guy friend of mine mentioned that he wanted to start a podcast about sex. He’s been hitting Tinder hard, and felt that he and his guy friends had enough hookup...
View ArticleBreathless: Are You Having an Emotional Affair?
When I imagine an affair, a few things come to mind: steamy sex, clandestine hotel rooms, raunchy texts, scandal, the population of France—it’s all very cinematic. But betrayal can be far less...
View ArticleDo Women Really Need the Newly Approved “Female Viagra”?
It might surprise you, but for some women, the Ginuwine Pandora station and a quick vape are not enough to get in the mood. Surveys have estimated that about 10 percent of women have something called...
View ArticleBreathless: In Defense of Hookup Culture
Hookup culture: The end of civilization, or the biggest NBD ever? If you’ve read a single article about dating apps lately, you are well primed to believe it’s the former. According to a recent...
View ArticleBreathless: Is UberPool the New Tinder?
This past spring, I spent a month in L.A. doing what everyone in L.A. does: “writing a screenplay,” aka drinking coconut kale smoothies and sitting in cars. “It’s so 2015,” said one friend, who’d...
View ArticleBreathless: How to Tinder Your Way Out of Your Social Scene
For years, during my mid-20s, I slept almost exclusively with skinny hipsters. (Real talk.) It can get a bit formulaic: You meet for an overpriced cocktail at some Brooklyn bar with a faux-1920s...
View ArticleBreathless: I Rang In My 30s With a Foursome
I woke up on the morning of my 30th birthday naked and alone in an unfamiliar hotel room, with a dead phone, covered in peanuts. As I crawled around the room, desperately searching for a phone...
View ArticleBreathless: There’s a Name for My Problem and It’s Called Sudden Repulsion...
I recently dated a guy named Dan, a graphic designer. It was love at first swipe. He was perfect: 6-foot-2 and 125 pounds, like an overgrown dandelion, aka my ideal male body type. I thought about him...
View ArticleBreathless: Is Having Feelings Embarrassing?
Having Feelings, Part 1 Last month I was in Los Angeles, on a self-imposed writing retreat, aka Tindering. I matched with Josh, a gangly 36-year-old with protruding ears and a body like a line...
View ArticleBreathless: To Ghost or Not to Ghost?
It was 8:00 p.m. on a Friday and Sarah was staring at an open book but not reading it, too busy glaring at her phone out of the corner of her eye. Sarah had dinner plans with Ed. They’d met on Tinder...
View ArticleBreathless: The Year in Sex
2015 will go down in history as the year when love won. But there were lots of other extraordinary advancements in the world of sex and relationships. Here, my list of 13 highlights, which includes...
View ArticleBreathless: Why (Some) Women Love Strap-Ons
Last week, I found myself at Cafe Gratitude in Los Angeles, eating a gluten-free scone and fuming about gender, as one does in 2016. On the receiving end of my rant was my friend “Lori,” a 23-year-old...
View ArticleThe Waiting Game
Love Stories is a series about love in all its forms, with one new essay appearing each day for the first two weeks of February, until Valentine’s Day. Nothing gets me wet like rejection. I suppose...
View ArticleBreathless: Can a Shaman Cure My Fear of Normalcy?
Last weekend, I found myself sitting in front of a shaman in a mansion in Berkeley, talking about my commitment problems. You know, cliché white people stuff. “I have this fear,” I told the shaman,...
View ArticleBreathless: Am I Jaded?
It’s been more than six months since my ex-girlfriend and I put the nail in the coffin of our creepily codependent three-year relationship. I’ve since gone through the obligatory breakup cycle. First...
View ArticleBreathless: Are You Obsessed With Your Partner’s Ex?
Last month I was at a Planned Parenthood benefit lunch at the Pierre hotel, making small talk with a fashion designer seated next to me. “That woman over there,” the designer said, pointing across the...
View ArticleBreathless: Are Dating Apps Better for Meeting People Than Bars?
Last Friday night, I was bored and horny at my apartment, swiping aggressively on Tinder but having no luck. And then something dark happened—I swiped left on a guy who I thought maybe looked...
View ArticleBreathless: Is Dating Someone With an Android a Deal Breaker?
I recently started dating this really sweet guy. We have a lot in common: We’re both writers; we’re the same age; we both hate being outside. But there’s one fundamental difference: He has an Android,...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Raya Is the Soho House of Dating Apps
So the other night I was at a party, talking to a friend of a friend—one of those special types of New York artists who never actually make any art. I started telling The Artist about this sweet ER...
View ArticleBreathless: Would You Sleep With a Republican?
In the run-up to the presidential election, it’s natural to reflect on our own politics and values. There are big questions to answer: What is my stance on abortion? What is my position on gun...
View ArticleBreathless: Why Friends With Benefits Are the Most Sustainable Relationships
In a few days, I’m going to Cuba on vacation with a guy I’ve been sleeping with for eight years, but whom I’ve never once called my boyfriend. We live on different continents, but inevitably, a few...
View ArticleBreathless: Why I Can’t Stand PDA
Last week, I was walking through the East Village when I saw it: a two-headed monster coming toward me. It was a couple, arms outstretched meeting in hands tightly locked, taking up the entire...
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